via Endomondo Running Workout.

Slow and easy…lots of waiting at traffic lights.  But pace was probably 10:00.  The first mile reflects me running to our meeting place at the corner of North and Oakdale and standing around chatting with The Ladies until Jane arrived.  The second mile reflects a really long traffic light.  It was ridiculous how long it took to turn.  The 3rd mile is more true.  The 4th mile reflects another traffic light, but that one turned about half a minute after we got to it.  And the last “mile”, rather 0.88 mile, we walked half…

And now that I’ve successfully run the GA Publix Marathon I was pretty much 100% sure I’d do the SweetH20 50K trail race.  But I still wanted some proof that I could make the switch from the road to the trail and at least finish the race, make the 17 mile 4.5-hour cut-off.

So, over on the GUTS website, on the forums, I saw a post from a guy named Ryan who was looking to get in a training run on the trails at Sweetwater Creek State park where the race is held.  I contacted him and we met up Saturday.  I got there about an hour before him and ran 5 miles by myself.  Then we ran 10 together.  Then I ran another 3.  So, I did 18 miles in 5 hours, realtime.  I did take 2 bathroom breaks and then, of course, after that first 5 miles when I met up with Ryan in the parking lot we had about 10 minutes of chit-chat.

If you look at the link below it shows the trails we ran and it says I did 17.81 miles in 3:28.   But there’s something funny going on…looks like the GPS wigged out a bit, either that or it just doesn’t track in the forest very well.  You can see that it tracks the trail roughly the same each time we ran them but it’s not QUITE right and in a couple of cases it puts me in places I wasn’t.

But, from what I know about the trails.

White – 3 miles

Blue – 2 miles

Red – 1 mile

Yellow – the bridge was washed out and has not been rebuilt so you can run to the place where the bridge was and back, which is ~ 1 mile.

I ran Blue + White before I met up with Ryan = 5 miles

Then Ryan and I did Red +White + White + Blue + Accessible Yellow = 10

Then I ran Red + Blue = 3

Total: 18 miles between 7:30a – 11:30a with 2 potty breaks, two chat breaks with Ryan at beginning and end, and one food break in the middle of the 10 miler.

So, when I was done I felt like I could give myself permission to register for the SweetH20 50K.  And I did.

I’m in.

Tracked with my Garmin 405 and uploaded to Endomondo:

17.81 miles in 3h:28m:00s using Endomondo.

via Endomondo Running Workout.

Well, a lot has happened in the past 4 months.

1. I still don’t have control over my alcohol consumption in a way that makes me happy. But I am better. Much better. I’ve been fairly successful in restricting it to Saturdays and Sundays and not overdoing it. But that’s because….

2. I trained for and ran a marathon.

It actually caught me unaware. Really. We were back in Atlanta after spending the New Year in Louisiana visiting family and our neighbors were hosting a little welcome back social for some other neighbors who had moved away but who were in town visiting. During this social I was talking with another neighbor, Karin, and she mentioned that the next day she and her group of ladies who run together were going to do 10-12 miles. So I asked if I could join. And I did.

I was nervous because between my last post on Nov 30 and the day in question, Jan 15, I’d worked up to a long run of 7 miles. Only the entire week before we had a giant snowstorm in Atlanta and work and school were out a whole week.

And the streets were unrunnable. Truly. They were coated in a thick layer of ice and treacherous for walking or driving. Last year, around the same time of year, I broke my tail bone after slipping on ice during a run. So, I wasn’t about to chance it.

When we headed out for this run, which ended up being a 12-miler, the ice had largely cleared but it was still a bit dangerous. And I hadn’t run in a week. So, it was slow going.

But I did it. And it set off a chain reaction in me that resulted in a successful training regimen.

I targeted the Country Music Marathon, because of what happened last year with the tornadoes shutting it down. And I set up a training schedule that would get me back there, this time to complete the whole 26.2.

Training went well. Due to my broken foot I would experience a bit of discomfort, pinching, etc, in my foot during long runs so I would walk if I had to. But that happened less and less. I decided against any time goals. This, I told myself, was a rebuilding year for me. Coming back from a broken foot, surgery, the flu.

And depression. I’m not sure why because my life is a good one. I have nothing to complain about. But I have been depressed since last summer. Part of it, I know, is my ongoing struggles with alcohol. But an outsider would probably want to punch me in the face because I HAVE A GOOD LIFE. In fact, I love my life. I have a lot to be happy about. I managed to turn my entire life around just a couple of years ago and I am still on that good course.

So, WHY do I feel constantly like I have a blanket on my brain? Why all this fog? How can I get rid of this self-absorption?

I don’t know. And I am not sure I am 100% out of it. But I do feel better now than I did on January 15.

Oh, and you may be wondering…it’s March 28 and you say you trained for and COMPLETED a marathon…but the Country Music Marathon isn’t for another month…WTF?

Well, yeah.

Back to training. Back to depression. I think my depression pretty much peaked this winter. I managed not to succumb to it completely. I didn’t totally give into destructive behavior, ie, drinking and binge eating – not that I have a problem with binge eating but occassionally I catch myself in the middle of stuffing my face and say, wait, stop…and I always can…I think it’s more of a mindless self-comforting type of activity.

But I didn’t throw myself into that kind of stuff, which I am grateful for, and I kept running.

In fact, I started regularly running with that group of ladies – Karin, Lisa, Halle, Audrey, Jane, and Sharron…and occasionally Chip. Chip is an Unofficial Lady. I’m sure he’d appreciate that.

We meet up on Tuesday and Thursday mornings at 6am at the corner of North Ave and Oakdale Ave, which is a convenient place for us all. And we go for a 4-6 mile run. It’s never been a real fast run, but it’s a good base run.

Often, on Thursday evenings I would run again with Linda, a friend from work. Those were always faster runs, done in intervals.

But it wasn’t speed work. I did do a month of speedwork in December, credit to Christian for the plan, and I think it was a good experience and I think it would have worked had I intended to make speed/pace an important part of my training cycle.

But I realized that this year I just needed to focus on getting my legs back, getting my miles up, and getting my depression gone. And I achieved this by Social Running. I am back.

Anyway, in the middle of February I started running to work again on Thursday. So, on those days I’d run 4-6 with the ladies and then run the 5.5 to/from work. On Thursdays, I got in a lot of miles. Once I even went and ran with Linda. That day, I ran a total of 20 miles.

On the weekends, for my long run, I’d get up at 5:30, head out to do 7-10 miles by myself, then meet up with The Ladies to do another 7-10 miles.

This is how my training went. Semi-structured but with only one goal in mind – building mileage.

And I learned something about myself.

I really like getting up really early and going for a run. On those Saturday mornings when I was out doing the first half by myself I enjoyed a quiet Atlanta. Traffic would be at a true minimum. Work crews would be out working on gas lines or potholes. Homeless guys would be shuffling around the doorway to the soup kitchens, waiting for them to open. Big trucks would be zooming through the city on the interstate, and I could hear them as I ran down dark misty surface streets.

Once, as I made my way through a leafy neighborhood street near Emory University an owl swooped down by my head. Just checking me out. But he/she was so quiet I was startled.

I’ve learned to cherish these dark early morning runs. I think they have slowly eased me out of my depression.

The St Johns Wort, I think, has helped, too. Those other herbs to help with alcohol cravings? Not so much. Oh well. It was worth a shot.

So, you say, WHAT ABOUT THE MARATHON???

Oh, right.

So, I learned that I will be going to Almaty, Kazakhstan the same weekend as the CMM. It’s a work trip. I am going to participate in a workshop on estimating the size at “Most At Risk Populations”, or MARPS, for HIV.

So…no CMM. At this point I was up to 18 miles in my long run and I was on course for a happy CMM event.

I was a little bummed. More than a little. I cast out for some suggestions – I can’t do a marathon on April 23 but is there one April 16 or May 7?

A guy I know via FB (he’s an ultrarunner who lives in the area) suggested the SweetH20 50K trail race at Sweetwater Creek State Park: http://www.sweeth20races.com/

But I was like, 50K? Trail? No -way! That’s nearly double my current mileage and on a trail…I have next to no trail experience.

But the idea stuck with me. So, I decided to start doing my long runs on the trail. I decided the next one would be a 20-miler at the Georgia International Horse Park. I had a time limit because my son had a piano recital. I got there around 10am. I had to leave by 12:45. I had 2:45. I was able to do 12 miles. Sucked. I thought, no way I am running a 50K.

The next weekend we went to Amicalola State Park as a family to get away for the weekend. Rented a cabin. I decided to try to run the Appalachian Trail Approach Trail (ie, the AT Approach Trail otherwise known as The Meat Grinder). It’s 8.7 miles to the top of Springer Mountain, starting behind the visitor’s center at Amicalola State Park.

My husband asked I be back by noon because we didn’t go to the mountains so I could run away and be by myself. Fair.

I hit the trail at 7am. I had to turn around by 9:30am no matter where I was. I got within a mile of the top.

Total: 15 miles. In 4.5 hours. Sucked. No way I was capable of doing a 50K, more than 2x that distance with a 9 hour time limit.

I complained to that guy I know that I didn’t have it in me. He was sick and tired of hearing from me by that time (he had to be…I would have been) and pretty much told me to suck it up and either do it or shut up about it. Of course, he didn’t actually say that because that would be rude and we don’t even really know each other. But I can read between the lines.

I couldn’t let it go.

While we were up in the mountains I saw a post on the classified listserv at work. A woman had a Georgia Publix marathon number to sell. Her husband had broken his foot and couldn’t run it.

Before I could stop myself, I contacted her and said I’d buy it.

Now, with a $70 investment in a number, I was committed to running a full road marathon.

I figured – it would be a test. It would reveal to me how well I could run that distance, how much walking I’d have to do, and if I could finish the whole 26.2 without feeling like a monster piece of crap….well, then perhaps I COULD do the 50K.

And when did a marathon become a training run for a 50K when my original goal was a marathon??? When I hadn’t even EVER done a whole marathon??

I’m not sure what I was thinking or why I thought this was a normal line of thought.

I was nervous. Very. I’d done 18 miles 3 weekends before the marathon and felt strong. But in the 2 weekends before the marathon I’d been on trails doing much shorter distances.

This was going to suck. Hard.

I reminded myself – I have no time goal. I just need to finish and, really, even if I ran 15 and walked 11.2 I could FINISH it.

And I finally did get myself into a mindset that this would just be a long training run with 18,000 people running 7 miles with me and 2000 people running the rest with me. That’s the most Social Long Run of the year!

I lined up in I think Corral H with Alana, the wife of a co-worker I sometimes run with. Alana was running the half. She DID have a time goal of 2 hours. I figured I would run with her at her pace for the 7 miles the half and the full were together. Then I’d run slower.

BTW, my assigned Corral was something like B because the guy I bought the number from, Michael, is fast. No way I was gonna go up there. I wanted company, not a demoralizing start.

Then we started.

And let me say that the race was EPIC. I felt GREAT the whole time. I never had to stop and walk because I was tired or in pain. I did walk through any aid station I utilized (starting at mile 12 I did take Gatorade – no gu for me), but I didn’t use them all, usually every other one or ever 3 miles.

I felt so awesome the whole time! And, in fact, I kept up that 2-hour half-marathon pace (something like 9:30) until the last 10K where I RAN FASTER!

I finished that marathon in 4:12 and I felt so great! I got all teary-eyed. I wandered around in a euphoric state until I ran into a guy I know whose kid plays football with my son. I hung out with them and took the train home with them.

It’s funny. My family wasn’t there. I’d had the mindset that this wasn’t a special event. That it was just a training run and I thought I might take 5 hours to finish. So I didn’t want my family to be waiting around twiddling their thumbs. So, I told them not to come. I’m not beat up over it but how stupid was that???? Duh.

The good thing was that the route passes within 2 houses of my house, around mile 8. So, my husband was at the corner of Candler Park Drive and McLendon Ave with our 2 next door neighbors, Elise and Elise’s dog Kinsey and Kate, to cheer me on. I even stopped to give him a kiss. My son? He had better things to do – play with his friends. I gave him a hard time about it, but I wasn’t upset. I’d downplayed this thing so…who could blame him.

Oh, and some other neighbors, Cathy, Pam, and Gillian, were at the corner of McLendon Ave and Clifton Ave with a sign that said “Go Jen!” I had no idea they’d be there! I’d only told Cathy and Gillian the night before at a BBQ at Joe’s house. They asked why I wasn’t having any beer and I told them because I had to get up early and go try to run a marathon.

I have to say that seeing them gave me a feeling of such happiness I think it helped make the rest of the race a magical thing.

And then around mile 21 a girl from work, who I recognized but don’t know by name, saw me and said, “Hey, she’s CDC! Hey!” I waved enthusiastically and again felt happy.

My first marathon –> kicked me out of my lingering depression, just like that!

My first marathon –> 4:12 with no time goal.

My first marathon –> a training run for the SweetH20 50K.

I guess it’s on.

I enjoyed the hell out of this run. 

I started this training blog on WordPress.  Even paid to get my own domain, sabbyrunsatl.com.  But I’ve become frustrated with the limitations of WordPress, with embedding things like my routes.  So, I am going to try tumblr and see if it makes me happy.  :)

Anyway, I was sick until Monday. By Monday night I was starting to feel better. By the time we left for NYC on Tuesday afternoon I was gold.

I brought gear to go run in Central Park in NYC but I never got a chance. We stayed in Long Island, in Great Neck. Each day we were up for 7, on the LIRR for 8, and then spent the day in Manhattan, leaving Penn Station on the LIRR for 10. I think every night except the last night we got back to Long Island past 11pm. And the whole day in Manhattan was spent walking, walking, walking, walking. We had a blast but there was just no way I could fit in running. I didn’t sweat it because I still had this spastic cough that would make me dry-heave when it got going and because we were walking around for something like 10-11 hours a day.

So, today, my first day back from vacation, I decided to go for a little warm-up run. You know, just a little 2 miler to ease back into things. However, the skies decided to rain. A lot.

But I went anyway. I wore tights and over that I wore one of those plastic rain suits. Over THAT I wore my bright yellow biking shell because the rain suit is army green. And I wore a baseball cap to keep the rain out my eyes.

But the best thing was wearing my Vasque Blur XLT . They have Gore-Tex liners. So my feet stayed dry! It really worked!

I bought this shoe, in particular, because it was the only trail shoe that REI had that fit my foot okay. At the time (and maybe still) REI didn’t carry many women’s trail running shoes. Some were monster sized. I even tried on several men’s shoes but in the end I found the Vasque to be the most comfortable, even though it’s more shoe than I normally prefer to wear.

The reason I bought trail shoes at all is because I want to do more trail running and I am a shuffle runner so I tend to kick rocks and tree roots, which is a real oucher. So, I wanted a stiff plate and a strong toe box.

But the very nice outcome of these shoes is that when I go for a run on the city streets during a downpour my feet stay dry and warm…even if I stomp through a puddle. I mean, they won’t hold up if I submerge my foot. But it sure holds up to splashing through stuff.

Overall, a good run. Sure, I found the run a bit taxing, but I’ve learned that the first run after a short lay-off is no indicator of overall fitness. It’s more about a slight accumulation of rust. And a little 2 miler like today is the best way to knock it off. Tomorrow’s 3 miler should be easy. I hope to get a 5 miler in sometime this week.

Anyway, it’s done. With any luck I will never have another period again. How can that be? Just look at this photo.

Can you tell which one is post-firebombing? It looks like the inside of a long drowned sunken submarine after it was hit by a nuclear warhead. How could it ever function again?

Now, why was I bleeding so much? Polyps. And apparently a lot of them. You can see them in that photo, too…all those red dots on my Fallopian tube (I think that’s a Fallopian tube).

Yes, this procedure and the tubal ligation means I am no longer able to bear fruit. But I already fruited once and once will be enough.

So, I got all this done Tuesday, Nov 9. Outpatient. In at 6am and home for 11:30am.

I then caught a cold and ran a fever. By the weekend I was feeling better but not great. That’s when I had my leak-so-much-serous-fluid-out-my-vagina-that-I-soaked -my-pants episode after jumping on a trampoline with my fruit, uh, son.

So, I was a little worried that on today’s 3 miler I would flood the streets of Atlanta.

By the way, I feel comfortable writing all this down because NOBODY reads it!

Anyway, my fears were unfounded. My 3 miler felt incredibly good. My legs, heart, and lungs all felt strong. My foot made its presence known but didn’t hurt. And no leaks.

I AM still a little worried about my foot. The fact that I am aware I have feet on such a short run tell me my feet are not ready for marathon training. I do have until the end of the year. Here’s to hoping that I can start up my long runs again with the New Year.

Have a good weekend! We’re off to NYC on Tuesday for the holiday. Hope to get some good pics there!

Nobody tells you that when you get laparoscopic surgery they blow you up with so much gas that you look 5 months pregnant for a few days after.

Not fun.

Also, I caught a cold from the hospital. I mean, I don’t know for sure but a hospital is the BEST place to get sick. Wednesday night I started feeling like a crap sandwich and by early Thursday morning I was running a 101.5 fever. I ran a low grade fever through Saturday.

Now I am just stopped up with a scratchy throat.

I have yet to exercise other than walking around. I plan to bike to work tomorrow and I hope to go for a run this Friday.

Thing is, I am leaking this clear/pinkish stuff all over. On Sunday we went down to Serenbe and Luc and I got on this trampoline. It’s this trampoline that’s built into the ground on some public space. After about 5 minutes of jumping around with my son I realized I’d soaked my pants pretty badly with this stuff. And I can’t wear a tampon for about a month due to risk of infection.

So, I guess I’ll just wear black running shorts or tights on Friday.

Let’s see how the foot feels, too. I’m hoping 2 weeks off will result in it feeling great.

I am a functional alcoholic. I did give it up for 6 months while I was losing all that weight, but I couldn’t give it up forever. And I am succeeding in my career and my marriage and family life are good.

But, alcohol has control over me and that makes me an alcoholic. I think it always will. I believe my life will be a constant battle for control. And I will lose. So long as I rely upon my own strengths to fight it, I will lose.

But I am trying something. Part of my problem is that I love alcohol, beer especially. I crave it the way some women crave chocolate. If I could do away with the cravings I think I might have a chance to have control for once. I’m gonna come on here and document how this strategy is going, whether I feel it’s working or not. Not daily, but often.

I am taking some serious St John’s Wort, some Kudzu, and some Milk Thistle. Many people already know that Milk Thistle is suppose to have a positive effect on liver function. It appears that it works best on those with lesser liver damage than those with catastrophic damage. As far as I know, my liver is fairly healthy. I do have elevated enzymes, undoubtedly from my drinking. But they’re not high enough to even alarm my doctor and they don’t always test high. It comes and goes. So, I would like to try to make my liver healthy (shouldn’t this be enough to get me to quit drinking?). The St John’s Wort is standardized for hyperforin, which is the active ingredient believed to really make that stuff work. I figure a boost to my mental health can’t hurt.

This is the brand: http://www.amazon.com/MMS-Pro-Perika-300mg-90t/dp/B000UV63SM

The kudzu I’m taking is Kudzu Recovery: http://www.amazon.com/Kudzu-Recovery-750-120-Tabs/dp/B0001VVT4Y

There is apparently some evidence that these things can help reduce alcohol intake by reducing cravings and also by making you LESS tolerant of alcohol, which isn’t the same as reducing cravings. But I will try it if it means I consume less.

Here’s the about.com “article” about it: http://altmedicine.about.com/od/herbsupplementguide/a/herbs_alcohol.htm

Here is an article in Science Daily about the potential for St John’s Wort in helping with alcohol consumption: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/1998/06/980629073333.htm

And here’s one in USAToday about kudzu: http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2009-11-17-kudzu17_ST_N.htm

Thing is, the placebo effect is strong. But that’s fine. If this stuff is actually crap but it works through the placebo effect, then FINE.

Also, time is an additional confounder. As the amount of time since my last drink increases my cravings for alcohol WILL decrease. That’s exactly what happened when I gave it up in 2008 to lose 80lbs. I had horrible cravings for a few weeks but they went away. Came back after a single drink…but they did go away as time went on.

Wow, doesn’t this all seem so futile and hopeless? Like, why bother? If it takes weeks to get rid of cravings and only one drink to bring them back full force, what chance do I have?

Well, that’s how I felt when I started my weight loss efforts in 2008. I felt like it was probably a lost battle before it was begun.

But it wasn’t. It worked and I won THAT battle. And it’s knowing that success that has me keep trying to beat alcohol.

I really have little hope of success. But I do have a little hope. And a little hope can be a powerful or terrible thing. I have to keep trying.

But by Sunday it was all fine. Not a single twinge of pain.

Today is the day before my surgery. I was going to go run because I won’t get to run until MAYBE Friday or Saturday.

But I can’t. Because today I had to do a bowel prep for my surgery.  That means only clear liquids (and jello) until midnight. At midnight I am to have nothing until after surgery.

But that’s not all. I’ve also had to take 2 Dulcolax at noon, consume A WHOLE BOTTLE of Miralax, and I have to take 2 more Dulcolax at 8p.

This has been fun. Yeah, and so was my broken foot.

Needless to say I can’t run.

For one, I have to be within 5 seconds of a bathroom. For two, all that bouncing with all that chicken broth + jello + laxative = my pants BECOME my bathroom.

So, no running today. No running until at least Friday.

But hopefully, my obstacles to running are nearly over. And I can start focusing on marathon training again.

Are these obstacles?  Or merely hurdles?  As a runner, I should be able to do hurdles, right?